dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
