i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
