My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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