Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
