I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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