moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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