Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize