Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
