It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
