hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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