take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
