BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
