Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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