is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
