i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
