Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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