just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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