my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
