This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
