i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
My vagina just clenched in fear
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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