she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
where are my eyebrows?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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