I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
