Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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