Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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