Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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