How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
