I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
