what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
