i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
