Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
