I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize