There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
