How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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