that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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