Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
