would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
