Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
