I can't watch pbs sober anymore
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize