I'm lost and stupid without you.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
