so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
