all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
