I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize