i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize