you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Do you have feelings for this penis?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
