Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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