Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
