I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
