you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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