you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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