Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Are my feet made of real feet?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
