That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
