I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
