remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
just tell him i said nine months
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize