Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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