I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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