I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
