This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
