Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
