you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize