If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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