no, he came in my armpit
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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