i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
