So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
